Sunday, September 21, 2014

What I haven't told you about having a baby


I sympathised with other pregnant women while pregnant. Every time I saw or heard someone was pregnant, the first thing I would think was ‘that poor thing’.  During my early months I would watch those about to pop at the gyno clinic, wobbling, sweating, and plain agitated. I shuddered at the thought of that would be me in a few months, but at the same time I was jealous they were ahead of me and were almost done with pregnancy. Pregnancy was THAT bad.

As horrible as this will sound, it was so hard to even get excited about the baby, and it just never really hit me. I could not imagine how this bump, which had left me lose all control of my body, and which took a real emotional and physical toll on me, would one day magically become a baby. And that I would love that baby more than anything in this world, so I'm told.

Now when I hear that someone is pregnant, I get a gush of excitement and possibly a veneer of jealously! Don't get me wrong, I do NOT miss being pregnant, but I know what's coming for that miserable pregnant lady. She will never know what hit her.

Since I've been told that my last two posts have pretty much had the same effect as contraceptives, in this blog post, I'll be telling you guys what you should look forward to when expecting.

Let’s begin with the dreaded labour day. The moment your baby is placed on your belly in the delivery room after however many hours of labour (48 in my case!) you will be overwhelmed by this new manifestation. You will forget the pregnancy and labour INSTANTLY. It’s magic.

You will breathe a sigh of relief. You'll then look at your baby and cry that it's over and your 'bump' was now in your arms. Then you will laugh, and cry because you cannot contain it. You will catch your hubby's eye. He will be looking at you in awe at your reaction.

It is surreal. Hassan (my hubby) told me that my reaction was something he would never forget. And the feeling doesn't stop!
To be completely honest, it is hard. Kind of like being in the shower and just as you put shampoo on your hair, you hear your baby cry through the baby monitor. The cry will be so loud and sharp that you’ll slip, taking the shower curtain down with you. You’ll run outside and forget the shampoo in your hair for hours. Or you’ll be so sleep deprived, you’ll end up brushing your teeth with soap instead of toothpaste, or when your baby cries at 3am, you will be so out of it that instead of comforting them, you’ll randomly go to the toilet and start getting ready for a shower. It is hard. Sometimes you’ll cry, but things will happen and it will be so worth it. 

The first time you see your baby smile in their sleep, the first time your baby grips your finger, the first time your baby tries to eat your finger, the first time your baby starts pulling your hair and laughs as you screech in pain, watching your husband fall in love with what you both created, hearing your baby's first laugh, your baby waking up as soon as you put them in their crib, then you letting out a sigh but secretly you're happy you can play with them a little longer. The list is endless. It will all make you forget every bad moment you experienced during pregnancy, and every stitch you needed after pushing a 10 pound baby out.

Usually when you make a life-changing decision, you justify it first - like wanting to get married or change career paths. You’ll be scared, but excitement will be the dominant emotion here. When I was pregnant I could not justify my pregnancy. I was scared. The excitement didn’t come till much later, and even when it did, it didn’t last. My husband wasn’t a fan of kids and timing wasn’t right. I was happy, obviously (under all the exhaustion) but could not see the bigger picture.  All I could see were stretch marks and foods that made me nauseous and clothes that no longer fit.

I complained non-stop throughout the nine months to my desk buddies at work. I feel awful for putting them off pregnancy, possibly for life. I feel bad because they didn't get to hear the other side of it: the first ultrasound when we saw the little peanut, or at the ultrasound where our little boy showed off his acrobat skills and did a summersault, the first kick, or the first cry after being pushed out into the real world and into his parents’ arms.

Now that he is here, I sometimes wonder why I didn't have him sooner. My hubby feels the same way. This I will never be able to justify. Not why I got pregnant, but why I waited.


My baby Omer, born on May 20, 2014. For those wondering, this was taken by the talented Dahlia, of Dahlia photography
 


If you’re still unconvinced, here's a list of things to look forward to.

While pregnant

Finding out the gender
I found out at 12 weeks, which is pretty early, but that's because he's a boy. They either see it or they don't. That's why with girls it takes much longer to know and make sure it's a girl and it's not just hiding! Usually around 16 weeks.

Buying baby clothes
This was my favourite part! Who doesn't love buying ridiculously cute baby outfits?

Eating like a pig
Eating for two is a myth, but no one will argue with a hormone-raging pregnant women!

An excuse to do nothing
Abuse it. That's all I'll say.

The first kick
I felt the first kick at 15 weeks. My doc said it was impossible. HE WAS WRONG! I also changed docs soon after.

The 4D ultrasound
This is when it'll start feeling real. You better film this! It will happen after you hit 25 weeks usually. It will be the first time you'll try to guess who the baby looks like!

A baby shower
I never planned one but had an amazing one thrown for me by a wonderful woman, Leah.

Giving birth!
It's scary! But super exciting (you wont realise this till much later). The moment you go to the hospital with your baby bag and you know that in a few short hours you will finally meet the thing you have been dreaming about for months. Leaving your home thinking the next time you come back here, you will be three.


With baby

The baby
Need I say more?

The post delivery ward
It's like a baby hotel in there! For the first time you will enjoy your stay in a hospital! You'll be there not because there's something wrong with you, but because everything is right! Nurses will come to your room with a big smile on their face and tell you the one thing you will hear over and over again for the next month: CONGRATULATIONS! And it never gets old.

No period
At least till you stop breastfeeding.

Becoming a family
You are officially a family. You now can take full advantage of family car parks.

Stronger bond between you and hubby
There has been a lot of debate on this. That a baby can either make or break a couple. I think it helps a couple get closer with a greater love tying them together.

He's all yours
And life will never be the same again.

3 comments:

  1. And congratulations AGAIN to you Ola and to Hassan, and to baby Omer who has such cool parents :) I relate to every single word, ALL OF IT! But it brings tears to my eyes to read how much you love your baby, because I definitely relate to that, most of all. :)

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  2. اختيار خادمة محترفة ليس بالأمر السهل ولكن يتطلب بعض المجهود وقبل ذلك لابد ان تسال نفسك هل فعلا انتى في حاجة الى خادمة ؟ وهل فعلا عمل المنزل اصبح ثقل لا تستطيعي تحمله ؟ وهل هذه الخادمة التي تفكري في استأجراها سترعى الطفل فقط ام ستدير جميع شئون المنزل من حيث النظافة والطهى وكل الامور الاخرى
    يجب الاخذ في الاعتبار عند اخيار الخادمة وفقا شركات تنظيف في الشارقة
    1- عمل مقابلة شخصية مع الخادمة قبل تعينها
    2- الاتصال بأرباب العمل السابقين الذين عملت لديهم الخادمة لسؤالهم عن ادائها
    3- تحديد السعر بدقة مع الخادمة وفقا للخدمات والمهام التي ستقوم بها والتي يجب ان يتم الاتفاق عليها بشكل واضح
    4- تدريب العاملة على القيام بالأشياء الاساسية اولا ثم الاقل اهمية
    5- عمل اختبار لقياس مدى كفاءة وامان الخادمة
    6- مراقبتها بشكل مستمر للأشراف على عملها
    7- يجب ان تكون متعلمة
    8- وضع جدول زمنى محدد للأعمال وفقا لمهارتها ومجهودها
    9- يجب مراعاة ان تكون للخادمة وقت كافي للراحة

    وفى النهاية فان اختيار الخادمة اذا اصبح حتمي و ضروري فان ذلك لابد ان يكون من اجل راحتك ولن يستقيم المنزل ولا يستقر دون نظافة و نظام والمنزل السعيد هو حقا المنزل النظيف

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